Monday Madness

July Theme | Understanding

What if the breakthrough you’re waiting for doesn’t begin with achieving more—but with understanding more?

As we begin a new month, let’s shift from forgiveness to understanding.

One of the greatest gifts we can offer ourselves—and those we lead—is the willingness to pause before we judge, react, or assume.

In Until Today: Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind, Iyanla Vanzant reminds us that many of our emotional struggles are fueled by attachment: attachment to outcomes, expectations, disappointments, and even pain.

“I will gain more understanding when I realize that as long as I have an emotional attachment to a goal, I am attached to the fear of not achieving the goal.”

Sometimes the most liberating words we can say are:

“It just didn’t work.”

Not because we don’t care… Not because it didn’t matter… But because releasing emotional attachment creates space for learning instead of lingering in blame.

From a coaching perspective, understanding doesn’t ask: “Who’s at fault?”

It asks:

“What is this experience inviting me to learn about myself?”

When we acknowledge what didn’t work without attaching our identity to the outcome, we create room for self-awareness, growth, resilience, and intentional action. That is where transformation begins.

As leaders, parents, partners, colleagues, and friends, understanding invites us to look beneath behavior and become curious about what may be driving it. The strongest relationships are often built not on being right, but on being willing to understand.

This week, I invite you to:

• Take TIME to look below the surface before drawing conclusions.

• Be Present. Listen to understand—not simply to respond.

• Connect with compassion, curiosity, and courage.

Remember: You cannot change yesterday, but you can choose how you understand it today.

Reflection Questions:

• What outcome am I still emotionally attached to, and how is that attachment influencing my choices?

  
  

• Where might understanding create more freedom than certainty?

  
  

• What assumptions could I replace with curiosity—in my leadership, my relationships, or within myself?

  
  

• How might my team, family, or community benefit if I listened to understand before seeking to be understood?

  
  

Continue to share your gifts... Follow your passion... Honor your values...

As I often say:

“You can’t teach a kid until you heal a kid.”

And perhaps:

You can’t fully lead another person until you’re willing to understand yourself.

Keep choosing understanding over assumption, curiosity over judgment, and growth over fear. The path forward begins with the courage to see more than meets the eye.

You got this!

Coach Tavia, PCC, MEd, MAT

References:

• Iyanla Vanzant. Until Today: Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind.

• International Coaching Federation (ICF). Core Competencies—particularly Cultivates Trust and Safety, Maintains Presence, Listens Actively, and Evokes Awareness, which emphasize curiosity, empathy, and partnering with clients to foster meaningful insight. (icftoronto.com⁠)

• Amy Gallo. What Is Psychological Safety? Harvard Business Review. Psychological safety enables honest dialogue, learning, and growth by creating environments where people feel safe to speak openly. (Harvard Business Review⁠)

• Michelle Bonterre. Empathetic Leadership: How to Go Beyond Lip Service. Harvard Business Publishing. Empathy, paired with meaningful action, strengthens trust, connection, and organizational performance. (Harvard Business Impact⁠)

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